You’re not Alone
Title : You’re Not Alone
Chara : Hosoya Yoshimasa, Masuda Toshiki
Warning : A lot of fluff, angst and.. OOC~ //sigh, gomen
"What are you listening, Masuda-kun?" Masuda turn around while Sugita tapped his shoulder. He took off one of his earphone and smiling.
"Oh.. Just a radio show, Sugita-san."
"What show?" Sugita become curious.
"Anitama zoo safari."
"Isn’t that Hosoya and Chiaki’s radio show?" Masuda just nodded his head, smile and wear his earphone.
"Geez… You really love your onii-san, ne?" Masuda didn’t say anything and just shrugged.
RIng ring… Hosoya took his phone and saw it’s caller name. Toshi? He smiled and answered it.
"Nii-san~~~" He could hear his otouto singing it from the other line.
"Haiii~~ Damassu.. Nande?"
"Iie~ I just want to call you. Are you done with your radio show?"
"Yes, I’m done. Have you eaten? Want to go eat something together?"
"Yes!! Yes!! Of course nii-san~"
"Okay, what do you want to eat?"
"Ra-!!" Then Masuda stopped for a moment. Hosoya felt a little weird but then he just shake it off. "Anything you want to eat, nii-san."
"Are you sure you don’t want ramen? It’s okay with me Toshi."
"No~ It’s fine, I don’t want ramen today."
"Okay then, how about some yakiniku? I want to eat meat now."
"Alright, I’ll send you the location through your email. See you there Toshi~"
"Nii-san!!!" Masuda waved his hand while entering the restaurant and saw his nii-san already put some meat in the pan.
"Hey Damassu! How was your day?"
"It’s good." Masuda smiled. "Just take a photoshoot, and recording for Samumenco." He also flipped the meat. "Oh! And I miss nii-san!" He added and laughed.
"Hontou? We just met last night." Yes those two went out together at New Year Eve, watched fireworks and celebrate New Year.
"Hontou!! I miss you!" Masuda stubbornly retorted.
"Hai - hai~ Let’s eat. Itadakimasu~"
Winter in Tokyo is really cold. Masuda could feel it, the icy wind through his layering clothes, his sweater and jacket. He shivered and moved closer towards Hosoya. He hoped he could steal some of his nii-san warm. Hosoya aware of his otouto gesture and he knew for sure Masuda is cold.
"Are you cold?" He asked and put one of his arm around Masuda’s waist, guide him to walk closer to him. Masuda nodded a little. Hosoya stopped and took of his own scarf and put it on Masuda’s neck. "No complain!" Said Hosoya before Masuda had any time to protest. "How many times I’m asking you to bring your scarf? You should take care of yourself Toshi. You know you can’t stand the cold really well."
Masuda just bowed his head. “I’m sorry.” He muttered. Hosoya sighed and holding Masuda’s hand and start walking again.
"It’s okay. I’m sorry , I was a little harsh. I just don’t want you to be sick. You’re my precious otouto." He pat Masuda’s head with his free hand. Masuda flattered when he heard that. He knew very well if Hosoya loves him so much. But listen a word like "precious otouto" from his nii-san mouth could make him happy and blushing.
"A-arigatou nii-san. I promised, I’ll bring my scarf next time."
They walked together in a comfortable silent, but actually there is something Masuda want to ask to his nii-san. He just can’t bring it up.
"Hm? Yes nii-san?"
"Are you in a hurry to go home?"
"Eh? Not really. Nande?"
"I want to go to somewhere.." He silent. Masuda didn’t say anything, he waited his nii-san to continued. "To the beach. Will you accompany me?"
Beach?! In a winter like this? At night? Mou… It must be freezing!! But he won’t say that. He never want to hurt Hosoya feelings. “Beach? Okay nii-san. I’ll go with you.”
It’s freezing. Of course it’s freezing. The wind is a little strong, it feels like a sharp ice trying to hit him over and over. He saw his nii-san went to the water. Sigh. Hosoya really loves sea, Masuda can’t do anything. Listening the sound of waves like this actually is calming enough, but not in winter. He continued watch Hosoya from behind, it seems so lonely. It seems so sad. Masuda’s heart throbbed in pain too. And then he remembered what Hosoya said at his radio show today. “If in any change you listen to me, please write to the station”. “You” here refers to his mother. Masuda knew about it. Hosoya told him once. For 18 years he was made to believe his mother died. Before he left for Tokyo after high school graduation, his father told him his mother is actually alive. Even to this day it seems he hasn’t met his mother yet. He said it jokingly, but Masuda knew there is a little hope and sadness in there. He walked to his nii-san and hugged him from behind.
"Nii-san.. Are you okay?"
Hosoya knew for sure what is it about. What Masuda did to him since he called him was obvious enough. Hosoya knew, his otouto listened to what he said in his radio show. “I am…” Hosoya stopped and shook his head. “I’m not okay Toshi.” He daydream towards the sea in front of him. “I miss her. I really hope, I can meet her in person. It’s okay if she won’t call me her child, but I still want to call her oka-san, just for once.” His voice was wavering and full of sadness. Masuda could feel it. Masuda knew his nii-san won’t cry, at least not now. Maybe when he alone at his bed or in his deep sleep, he would cry, but Hosoya never cried in front of anyone else. Not in front of his “otouto” too. So Masuda took his place and cried.
Hosoya realized his shoulder getting wet. He turned around and took Masuda’s face on his palm. He wiped Masuda’s tears and pressed his lips to Masuda’s head. “Why are you crying? Don’t cry Toshi.” Hosoya pull his otouto and hugged him.
"Because you won’t cry. I know you’re hurting inside and it’s hurting me too nii-san."
Hosoya hugged him tighter. “I’m sorry Toshi. I put the pain in you too.”
"It’s not.. It’s just.." Masuda couldn’t say anything, he didn’t know what to say. For him, Hosoya is a pure soul, he is a nice person, so honest and he deserved any love in the world. He wanted Hosoya to know it. "I just want you to be happy. Genuinely happy, not just a smile you put in your face so someone else won’t worry about you." Masuda cried harder and drowned his face to Hosoya’s shoulder. "You aren’t alone nii-san.."
Hosoya hugged and patted Masuda’s back. He tried to calm Masuda. He felt guilty for making Masuda cried like this, but also he felt happy because his otouto really care about him. After about five minutes, Masuda started to stop crying. Hosoya drag and asked him to sit in the sand. Hosoya also sat beside him and put his arm around Masuda’s shoulder.
"I know I’m not alone Toshi. I still have my dad, I have my friends. I have my fans." He looked at Masuda’s eyes. "and especially, I have you, my sweet little brother." He poked his nose then hugged him again. "I’m happy with my life now. You know it. About today it’s just etoo… you can say, a sudden emotional thing from me. Don’t worry Toshi. I will be okay again soon. Thank you for staying here with me. And I’m sorry I make you cried like this."
Masuda shook his head. “It’s nothing nii-san.” He smiled. “I promised I will always be there for you. I won’t leave you alone. I love you nii-san.”
"That’s so sweet Toshi~" Hosoya teased Masuda again.
"Mou… I’m serious!!"
"Yes, I know Toshi. Thank you. I’m glad I met you that time." He kissed Masuda’s nose and smiled. "I love you too, really really love you."
Two figures in the beach at a winter night. Enjoying the sound of waves and the starry sky above them. Feel so calm.
Note : A long time I don’t write anything~ and sorry Massu is r
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